Since most of us don’t have $20,000 – $100,000 lying around, I thought I would share some cost-cutting, saving, money-making and fundraising ideas for how to pay to pay for IVF or surrogacy.
When we were just starting down the path of infertility, we thought these costs were insurmountable and were very discouraged. But, I want to encourage everyone that even if you do not have the means right now, with time and effort you could sooner than you think.
How far are you willing to go?
First and foremost though, are you really willing? Do you want this enough to give up other things? This is a hard question and one you might be surprised at if you are honest with yourself.
I have known some who could afford it, but are not willing to and won’t admit it. They want a child, but not enough to spend that kind of money on. Instead, they complain, while spending on everything else.
And, I know others who are barely getting by, but have sacrificed everything. I even know one girl who found another job that would have fertility coverage and then had to leave a job she loved, her home and everything else to take that new job in a different state.
The hardest part for me was knowing that spending so much money was a gamble. It wasn’t guaranteed that if we spent a pile of money on IVF, then we would end up with a baby. In the end, we knew we had to try, no matter the cost. And, I knew I would regret it for the rest of my life if I hadn’t tried everything. My parents said it best to me and said something to the effect of , “We couldn’t put a price on you. You are worth more to us than anything.”
Cutting costs for IVF & Surrogacy
- IVF Studies. Check into applying for studies where you would get the treatment for free. And, if you’re like me, you’re thinking I don’t want to be a science experiment, but it’s not like that. You aren’t trying new drugs or anything like that. It’s more like they are testing different protocols to see what works best.
- IVF Shared Risk Programs. Check into shared-risk IVF programs. We did this and our program works in that you spend $20,000 on IVF (not including meds, IVF tests, etc.) up front and you can do up to 4 fresh IVF cycles and unlimited frozen ones and if you don’t bring a baby home after that, you get all of your money back. So, if it works on round one, you paid double what you normally would have. But with two or more rounds, you win with the cost. The problem for us is that we did six rounds (transfers), but only two retrievals. After six, we knew we were done and it just wasn’t going to work. I couldn’t put my body and my emotions through any more. So, since I can’t complete the program, I have the option of getting half the money back if I withdraw at any time. We think this is a good program and benefited us greatly. (Update: We were able to use our program for surrogacy. )
- IVF Gifted Cycles & Grants. Apply for free rounds of IVF. Some of the big clinics do give-aways if you come to informational events and things like that. Also, you can apply for grants. Check out the Cade Foundation.
- Donated Meds. Ask your clinic if anyone has donated any meds. A very generous girl who had success with IVF at my clinic gave her leftover meds back to the clinic to donate to me.
- Discounted Meds. For IVF meds, apply for special programs, discounts, rebates, etc. Ask your clinic. (Example: Gonal F discount)
- Find your own surrogate. For a surrogate, try to find a friend or family member who might be interested in helping you for free or low costs. How to find a surrogate on your own.
- Don’t use a surrogacy agency. You can be your own project manager, cut out the middle man and save tens of thousands of dollars. Learn more about independent surrogacy.
Coming up with money to pay for IVF or surrogacy
- Cut expenses. What can you cut from your monthly expenses to help save more? What are you willing to cut? Maybe it’s time to cut the cord and ditch cable TV. There are lots of small sacrifices you can make to save money.
- Sell stuff. Is there anything worth something that you’re not using? A piano, a ring you never wear, a pool table? Sell on craigslist or ebay. At one point, I was willing to sell my engagement ring, but my husband refused.
- Get a loan. You’d do it for a car, why not for a baby? The part that really stinks is that you can get a car loan for as low as 0%, but a personal loan from typical banks is more like 10%.
- Refinance your house with a cash-out. We were lucky that we were able to do this. Maybe not the smartest financial decision, but having a child is more important to us than anything else. Talk to some financial people about this.
- Equity line of credit. Can you get an equity line of credit on your home?
- Borrow from your 401K. Again, not the best financial advice, but we’re talking about creating life, which in these circumstances might trump all.
- Check with your employer. Some employers offer adoption benefits. Federal and state employees are generally allowed up to $3,000 per adoption. Ask your employer about this benefit.
- Fight for yourself! We need insurance coverage. Call your Congressional representatives and Senators! Write them letters! Go visit them! Learn about infertility advocacy.
Making extra money
- Start a side business in sales. This is what I did for a while to make extra money for our fund. It’s great because you are in charge and work extra when you can. You make your own hours and work as much as you want. I told people why I was doing this and asked for their help. I loathed even doing that, but I had to swallow my pride.
- What are you good at? I also love photography, so I created an etsy site to sell some of my work. I’m not making big bucks, but every little bit helps. I also do portraits and other photography gigs for extra money. My husband does computer consulting for extra money. Can you paint? Can you help people with taxes? Can you bake? It can be anything.
Fundraising for IVF or surrogacy
So, this is the “fun” part. This kind of stuff is hard and some of these ideas require you to swallow more of your pride than others. Only you can know what is best and how far you are willing to go. I haven’t done this kind of fundraising, but here are some ideas.
- Partner with businesses for fundraisers.
- Restaurants. A friend of mine just did a fundraiser with Chick-Fil-A, where they got a portion of sales for everyone that took a voucher she gave them to a particular restaurant on a particular night. Who knew?
- Online Retailers. This same friend also did a fundraiser with amazon.com where when anyone who uses a special link shops at amazon, they get a portion of the sale donated to them.
- Local independent consultants. Many consultants will be willing to throw a party for you (Pampered Chef, 31, Stella & Dot, etc.) and donate their commission. They get sales, you get some money = win/win.
- Have a big yard sale. Ask everyone you know to donate items. Try to sell the really good stuff before the yard sale on Facebook Marketplace to get more for it.
- Other sales. Car wash, Bake sale, etc.
- Do a raffle. Buy or ask for a donation for a great item. Then sell $10 raffle tickets to everyone you know. Post in on Facebook and wherever. It’s a win-win. Only $10 for them and for a good cause, but they have the chance to win something really great.
- Online Auction. Similar to above, but ask friends and local businesses to donate small items to give away. Do an online auction on Facebook. Easy.
- Puzzle piece donations. Buy a puzzle and let people donate a certain amount for each piece and you can write their name on the back of the puzzle.
- Host something. A golf tournament or a cocktail party and charge admission.
- Flat out asking for donations. I saved this one for last for a reason, as it should be a last-ditch effort in my opinion. I never did this, but I did include a harmless “Donate” link on our adoption website. My opinion is that you should make sure you are doing EVERYTHING else you can before you do this. Why should others help you if you aren’t willing to help yourself? Also, I do have to say that a few very kind, very generous people sent us donations even though we didn’t ask. They knew we were fundraising though. We feel incredibly grateful for their kindness.
How much does surrogacy cost without an agency?
To find out how much surrogacy costs without exorbitant agency fees, get my free independent surrogacy cost guide.
Get surrogacy cost estimate